What Is This Moment Asking of You?

A request comes in at 4:45 p.m. You have somewhere to be. You can answer it tomorrow.

You open your laptop anyway.

Perhaps the request is urgent. Perhaps it isn’t. What’s harder to see is whether you’re responding to this request or to an older understanding of what a good colleague does.

That distinction can disappear when a response feels automatic. We say yes, take responsibility, smooth things over, or work a little longer. The choice seems to belong to the moment. Sometimes it belongs to a role we learned long before the moment arrived.

Maybe you became the person who could always be counted on. Maybe asking for more time once carried a cost. Maybe being prepared meant anticipating every need before anyone could be disappointed.

Those experiences can shape excellent qualities. They can also keep offering the same answer when the situation has changed.

If you find yourself here and you’re not sure if today you want to respond differently than yesterday, here are a few questions to consider before you act:

• What is this moment actually asking of me?

• What am I already responding to?
  

The first asks us to look at what is happening now: the request, the people involved, the real deadline, and what matters.

The second asks us to notice what came into the room with us: an expectation, an old definition of responsibility, a fear of being seen differently, or a rule we’ve never thought to revisit.

We may still decide to stay late. We may decide to reply in the morning. The point is to have access to the choice.

A familiar response can be wise. It can also be so well rehearsed that we mistake it for the only response available.

Before you answer the next request that seems to decide itself, take a breath long enough to ask which moment you’re responding to.

Power of Possibility gives us room to experience how our stories influence the moments we think we’re simply reacting to. Narrative Coach Practitioner develops the coaching capacity to notice and explore that process with someone else.