The Message Was Brief. The Story Wasn’t.

An email arrives: “Can we talk about the project?”

That’s all it says. Yet one person reads it and feels curious. Another braces for criticism. A third starts preparing an explanation before anyone has asked for one.

The email hasn’t changed. The meaning assigned to it has.

We often talk as if an event happens and our response follows. There is a great deal taking place in between. We interpret what happened through our experience of who we are, what we believe to be true, and what matters to us.

Consider someone who sees herself as the dependable one. She believes asking for help may leave others questioning whether she can handle the role. She values doing right by her team.

When she falls behind, working late may feel like the obvious answer. Even if she wants a healthier way to work, asking a colleague to share the load can feel less like a practical adjustment and more like putting her identity at risk.

In another situation, the same person might welcome help without a second thought. These responses aren’t permanent traits. They make sense within the meaning of a particular moment.

Three questions can help us slow that moment down:

• Identity: Who am I in this situation?

• Beliefs: What am I treating as true?

• Values: What matters enough that I want to protect it?

These questions aren’t a formula for predicting anyone’s behavior. They are a way to become curious about the meaning beneath a response, especially one that seems out of step with what the person says they want.

The dependable colleague doesn’t need someone to tell her that asking for help is allowed. She may need room to see what asking represents to her, and whether being dependable could take a form she has not yet considered.

We respond to events. We also respond to what those events mean inside a story already underway.

Power of Possibility is where we begin experiencing that connection for ourselves. In Narrative Coach Practitioner, coaches develop the skill to hear how meaning is being made in the conversation and partner with clients in exploring what else may be possible.