What clients allow their boundaries to dissolve for the sake of others? @Mollie Bush, a Certified Life Coach Practitioner, reviews Rachel Hollis' book, I Didn't See That Coming and concludes that her ideas about perspective and acceptance are helpful to consider when coaching others. Mollie points out in her review that Hollis admits she wrote most of her thoughts before she had to put resilience to an actual test. Yet, Hollis's no excuse approach for living a happy life works despite its more opinion than a proven method. Mollie explains how to use Hollis's ideas when coaching clients that seek happiness but don't know how to take on the responsibility.
Reviewer: Mollie Bush, Certified Life Coach Practitioner
Book: Didn’t See That Coming
Author: Rachel Hollis
Key Point One: Learning to adjust and control your perspective is the key to a happier, more centered life regardless of the season you’re in.
If we can understand how to reposition our perspective in the direction of rebirth and renewal, we can create a positive path forward that is filled with hope. Hollis talks a lot about the difference between perspective and mindset – that both are influenced by our past and within our realm of control, but perspective is how we see the world while mindset is what we think about what we see. If we can adopt a growth mindset and truly believe that we have the ability to continuously learn, grow and change, we will always be able to alter the way we think about what we see and take on a whole new view of the world.
Key Point Two: There is beauty in accepting that bad things may happen.
When we can equip ourselves with tools and resources to maintain a positive mindset, it will be much easier to push through the struggle. While hardships can make life feel heavier, they also contribute to a much faster recovery each time we face something difficult. Each experience we go through in life creates resilience inside of us and allows new wisdom to be born. Embracing resilience leads to extraordinary strength and a more vulnerable heart.
Key Point Three: Taking time to re-imagine our future can be incredibly powerful and give us something to work towards.
Rather than spending time thinking about how things could have been different or focusing on what you should have done, allow yourself to daydream about your future self. Think about what the best version of yourself will do over the next year, what your days could look like and who you will spend your time with. Then, allow that vision to propel you into action.
Application to life coaching:
This book places an emphasis on the importance of understanding how past experiences create our current perspectives and can have a major influence on how we view and interact with the world around us. One of my favorite concepts is that digging deeper into specific challenges is far more beneficial than casting a wide net. As coaches, we can help people really hone in on what matters most in their lives and identify where they want to focus their energy going forward. Creating a road map with specific and attainable actions helps clients feel more empowered and diminishes fear.
“How you start to move forward, how you start to heal, and how to identify the positive parts of the pain you’ve experienced is up to you, because healing is a solo mission, my friends. You can have – and will need – assists, but the work of this is yours, and the path you take is yours to choose.” (Page 58)
What I love most about coaching is that the process is entirely driven by the client. As coaches, we’re “the assists” but the journey is in the clients’ hands. There is so much power is taking control of your own life and choosing your path forward, so this passage held a lot of meaning for me. It is a great reminder that we can control how we interact with the world around us and choose how we show up for ourselves and others each and every day.
How will I apply the key messages in this book within my coaching?
This book reinforced the fact that understanding what has influenced your beliefs in life can help light a path forward. Helping clients develop a deeper awareness of their past can ignite a new sense of clarity that will help guide them on their journey to self discovery. There are a few questions included in this book that I am excited to incorporate into my coaching practice to help push my clients to better understand how their current worldview and mindset are playing a role in their lives.
· What identities are you carrying because you care about the people who gave them to you?
· What are the areas in your life where you’ve dissolved boundaries to be present for others at the loss of yourself?
· Which parts of your life are you seeing as much bigger than they have any right to be?
· How can you rethink your negative experiences as happening FOR you and not TO you?
· How is your mindset right now keeping you from achieving your goals?
· What can you use as positive motivation to keep you going on the toughest days?
· What stands in your way of being the best version of yourself today?