The Secret Handshake Nobody Taught Us (It's About Time We Make Our Own)

Chubs Sharing His Secret Handshake

How many brilliant ideas have we quietly buried—not because we weren’t capable, but because they didn’t go viral by Tuesday?

We tell ourselves it wasn’t meant to be, when really… it just wasn’t immediately affirmed by the universe, five strangers, and a six-figure launch.

It’s not that we didn’t believe in ourselves. It’s that we assumed someone else got the secret playbook. Or at least had a mentor, a shortcut, or some mythical memo titled “How to Make It Without Second-Guessing Everything.”

Turns out, there’s actual research behind that feeling.

Psychologists call it learned helplessness—when early effort doesn’t yield results, our brains (bless their anxious little circuits) conclude it’s safer to stop trying than to fail again.

Add a splash of imposter syndrome, where your competence can’t out-shout your inner critic.

Top it with the Dunning-Kruger effect, where the more you actually know, the less confident you feel—because now you’re aware of how much you don’t.

So no—it’s not just you.

And yes—there are external factors. Uneven playing fields, gatekeepers, and systemic stuff we can’t ignore. But in the quiet space between the noise and the narrative, something else is also true: Most of us don’t quit because we’re unqualified.

We quit because the climb didn’t come with fireworks, a fanbase, or even one person obsessively hitting refresh on our contact page. We expected momentum. Validation. Phones ringing off the hook.

Instead? Crickets.

But maybe the signal you’re looking for isn’t in the noise.

Maybe it’s not in the metrics or the dopamine hit of instant praise—but in the quiet, relentless knowing that this still matters.

Maybe the real power is showing up like you did get the secret handshake—and then handing it out like you’re done waiting for permission.

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If this lit a fire in you (or at least made you suspicious that one’s still burning somewhere under the to-do list), join us this Saturday for Why Not Me?

If you’ve ever whispered “why not me?” into the void, we’re flipping the script. This 2-hour session is designed to turn doubt into declaration—Because “why not me?” isn’t a question. It’s a dare.

RSVP here (CCEs Available)

And yes—you get to bring a friend for free. Which basically makes you a keeper of the secret handshake. At least this one. 😉