Belong or Become?

I fell in love with the song Circle

before I had a clue what it meant.

“Me, I’m a part of your circle of friends...”

And I thought—aww, friends!

Didn’t listen past the first line.

Didn’t need to.

It had a groove, a vibe, and I’m a sucker for a catchy beat and low expectations.

But years later—

on a random Tuesday,

while teaching Narrative Coaching—

BAM.

It hits me.

That song isn’t about friendship.

It’s about leaving.

It’s about growing.

It’s about the messy,

soul-splitting paradox of becoming who you’re meant to be

and realizing it might cost you where you belong.

Cue: existential whiplash and one less epiphany in my lifetime quota.

(Maya Angelou said we get 250. And I burned one on Edie Brickell.)

But here’s what that epiphany whispered loud and clear:

We don’t stall on our dreams because we’re lazy.

We stall because we’re afraid.

Afraid of what it might cost.

Afraid we’ll be judged.

Afraid we’ll succeed and show up to our big moment…

and no one’s there.

So we settle.

Not because it’s safe—but because it’s familiar.

The people around us expect us to stay put.

They built their comfort on our consistency.

And when we start to grow?

It threatens the blueprint.

That’s what Circle finally made sense of:

Belonging feels like the goal.

But becoming?

Becoming is the truth.

You can’t truly belong

until you’re brave enough

to stop shrinking for the circle

and start expanding into your own damn story.

That’s narrative.

It’s not just what you tell—

It’s what you live.

It’s who you leave behind.

And it’s who you finally become

when you quit quitting on yourself.