When an Outcome Masquerades as a Goal
Ever feel like you just aren't sticking the goal/focus? “I just want to feel confident in my role.”
Important? Yes.
Clear? Also yes.
The focus of a coaching session? No.
That line names a destination—an outcome once the work has already done its job. It tells you where the client wants to arrive, not where the exploration needs to happen.
Outcomes are helpful for orientation.
They are notoriously unhelpful for focus.
If you recognize that response for what it is, your work changes. You don’t chase confidence—you work backward from it.
What are you feeling right now? How clear are you about what keeps confidence out of reach? What have you already tried to solve for?
Often, clients will offer a list of things that rattle their confidence. When that happens, resist the urge to tackle the list.
Lists are democratic. Coaching is not.
Instead, stay curious about causality:
Which one instigates the others?
Which one is organizing the mutiny?
If attention went to the one that matters most right now, which of the others would suddenly feel more manageable?
Surface solving treats everything as equal. Masterful coaching listens for what’s doing the organizing.
That’s where the work actually is.
This really resonates, especially the distinction between outcomes and workable focus. I want to feel confident sounds actionable on the surface, but as you point out, it’s actually the result of several underlying shifts not the lever itself.
I like the idea of working backward from confidence instead of chasing it directly. The questions you shared What are you feeling right now? What have you already tried? immediately move the conversation from aspiration to awareness. That’s where things stop being abstract and start becoming useful.
The part about lists stood out too. Clients often come in with a long list of pain points, and the instinct especially outside of coaching—is to fix everything. It reminds me of how people sometimes jump straight to shortcuts, like wanting to pay someone to take your online class, without addressing what’s actually creating the overwhelm or lack of confidence in the first place. It might solve a surface problem, but it doesn’t touch the organizing issue underneath.
Staying curious about causality instead of treating every issue as equal feels like the real skill here. Identifying the one thing that’s organizing the mutiny can change everything. When that shifts, confidence often follows naturally—almost as a byproduct rather than a goal.