Comparison-Friend or Foe?

Let’s be real: comparison is like that annoying friend who crashes every party uninvited. It’s always showing up, making us doubt our outfit choices and wonder why our vacation photos don’t look as good as our neighbor’s. But while comparison can be the source of a lot of eye-rolling, it’s also one of our best tools for growth—if we learn to use it wisely. So, let’s dive into the strange, messy, and surprisingly powerful world of comparison, belief by belief.

Belief ONE: Your There Will Never Be My Here Ever catch yourself looking at someone and thinking, “I’ll have what she’s having”? Only to realize, halfway through, that it’s actually not what you wanted at all? That’s comparison in action. We see someone’s shiny there—their life, achievements, or avocado toast—and think it’ll magically fix our here. But here’s the twist: by the time we reach our own version of there, we’re not the same person we were at the start. What once looked like gold might lose its sparkle, and that’s okay. Comparison taught us something valuable along the way: that we’re constantly evolving, and so are our tastes. Just because Karen looks thrilled at that yoga retreat in Bali doesn’t mean we’d be equally thrilled getting sand in our yoga mat.

Belief TWO: We Compare to Be Aware Society keeps telling us, “Don’t compare yourself to others!” Sure, sounds nice…until we realize comparison is actually our built-in performance review system. How else would we know if we’re crushing it or if we’re, well, taking an extended nap on life? Comparison lets us measure progress (or lack thereof), showing us how far we’ve come or where we might want to head next. It’s the GPS we didn’t know we needed, giving us friendly (and sometimes brutally honest) reminders that we’re on track—or slightly off course. Without comparison, we’d just be wandering aimlessly, wondering if it’s normal to still be wearing sweatpants to Zoom calls.

Belief THREE: Comparison Is a Portal to Potential Think of comparison as the doorway to possibility. When we see others doing cool things, our minds go, “Oh, that’s an option?!” Comparison broadens our horizons, giving us context for the things we didn’t even know we wanted or could achieve. It’s like peeking into a whole catalog of human potential and realizing, hey, maybe we could try something similar, or put our own spin on it. It’s the reason why someone climbing Everest inspires us to finally try that intimidating hot yoga class down the street. Our boundaries start to stretch, and our ideas about what’s possible expand.

In the End…Comparison, for all its quirks and occasional side effects (like envy and a lot of questionable late-night online shopping), is just part of the human experience. If we use it thoughtfully, it can inspire us, nudge us toward growth, and keep us reaching for our own version of success. So next time you catch yourself scrolling and comparing, don’t scold yourself—thank your inner “comparison monster” for showing you the possibilities. Just remember to take it with a grain of salt, or maybe a whole shaker.

Questions to Use Comparison as a Friend:

• When does comparison try to grab your attention?

• What feelings, thoughts, or behaviors does it spin?

• Where is it trying to increase your awareness?

• What is it inviting you to learn, expand, or explore?